I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
