i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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