Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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