U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
a search helicopter?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
