why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
