I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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