so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't deserve a penis
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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