Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
