yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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