So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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