I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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