I bet he comes in French.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
