So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.