She went from zero to smokin in five shots
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize