I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.