I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?