no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
