Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
