We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
