There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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