I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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