I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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