You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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