Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
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Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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