i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
