i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
