come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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