whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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