Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish I only lived at night.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
