Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
