uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
