recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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