So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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