Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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