so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize