Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize