So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
