i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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