I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize