So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
