We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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