took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize