Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
