We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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