the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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