I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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