I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
