I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
