so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
