No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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