Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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