Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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