I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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