So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
