Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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