i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
