I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
