i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
worst night to have a conscience
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
